HNA: Hero News Associated

Today in Bremen Germany the World Electronic Expo (Otherwise know as WEE), had it’s floor show open to the public. The point of WEE is to show of potential new electronic technology to companies, investors & consumers. The shows for the companies & investors have already happened, but the floor show for the consumers was today & the world got to once again see the wonderments of the future. Amongst the highlights of the show was a presentation on how to make phones more viable, by reducing the size & adding a screen that can flip (Presented by the Halfii Entertainment Corporation). This was a good opener for the company, right before they presented a new device that is going to “revolutionize” how the world does entertainment. This device, know as a ‘Electronic Board-Game Device’ (Or EBD), was shown off to the public. The EBD, a tall standing object with a screen, roughly 7 feet tall in height & 9 feet in width, allows the owner to plug in ‘Electronic ...

During The Middle Of The Night Yesterday, A Strange Mirror Covered In Cloth Was Found In The Middle Of The Ditch In Front Of The DNSA (Dutch National Security Agency) Headquarters. A Local Nearby At The Scene, Witnessed  A DNSA Agent Take The Mirror & Bring It Into An Unmarked Van. We Talked To This Agent & They Have Declined An Interview About The Object, Stating That “Any Anomalous Mirror, No Mater If It Was Covered In Cloth Or Glowing Purple, Will Be Disclosed… Errr I Mean, No Such Object Exist & Thus Their Is Nothing To Discussed… Can You Strike That First Part I Said?”. In Other News An Unnamed DNSA Agent’s Work Contract Is Being Reviewed Due To An Unnamed Recent Blunder. -Sarah Suvanna May 9th 1972

Recent Research Has Shown That Slime Are No Longer Going Extinct. For People Who Didn’t Know Slimes Even Existed (Since They only Lived In North America), The Slow Death Of The Species Was Thought To Be An Inevitability. This Is Due To The Fact That They Were Created By The Hero “The Ooze” Who Died Back In 1944. Since Then Scientists Predicted That Slimes Could Only Live For Twenty Years Or So & That Due To The Fact That The Source Of Creation Was Destroyed, They Wouldn’t Be Able To Renew Themselves, & Since They Can’t Reproduce, This Would Put The Species As A Whole On An Eventual Inevitable Fate. However Something Unexpected Has Happened, Slimes Have Found Out How To Reproduce. How They Do This Is Currently Unknown, But The General Increase In Slime Populations In Industrial Areas & The Fact That New Slime Breeds Are Starting To Come Out Of The Wood Works, Suggest That This Is Happening. We Here At HNA Enjoy Our New Little Slimy Friend, But Amongst Many Other People, ...

Our Humble Paper Has Grown Wildly Over These Past Few Years, Having Just Been Only A Paper In New Holland Before Expanding Out Into All Corners Of The New Netherlands Nation. However, As Of Today, We Will Now Be Publishing Our Paper Globally, Expect New News Every Day, With The Amount Of New Varying Counting On How Active The Day Has Been! Nonetheless We Hope To See New Viewers Soon & Wish Good Times & Wellness To All Readers Of Our Paper, New & Old. -Sarah Suvanna 1972